Jokes

Tax time comes but once a year, this is not a time of cheer. Mother India gets a third of your wages,and these darn forms have too many pages. If you don't get your money in on time, you can be sure, you will be fined. I'm not happy about all the tax I payI think I will write Uncle Sam, and say:
Dear Uncle Sam, I'm tired of work.My responsibibly I'm going to surk.Just add me to your welfare list, my money now, you will also miss.

Is your stomach uptight
Having trouble sleeping at night
Don't fret dear, it's only old age

Is it sports that excite him
Not you with the light dim
Don't fret dear, it's only old age

Is his hair line receding
You need glasses for reading
Don't fret dear, it's only old age

Does your body give you pain
Especially when there's rain
Don't fret dear, it's only old age

Does your tub have a grab bar
And you teeth a jar
Don't fret dear, it's only old age

Is it pills you keep popping
And things you're always dropping
Don't fret dear, it's only old age

Is your blood pressure high
And they can't find out why
Don't fret dear, it's only old age
So don't get upset
This is as good as it gets
Don't fret dear, it's only old age


Woe to me
What have I done
I'm sick as a dog
And that's no fun
My head feels
Like it's going to explode
My stomach is going around
Like a washing machine load
Last night I was having
Such a ball
But today I'm taking
An awful fall
Just thinking about food
Makes me feel even worse
If I don't get better
I'll be riding in a hearse

Where is my computor, the poor little guy.
If UPS lost him,I'm going to cry.
I shipped him south,for my Mother to use.
But where he is now,I don't have a clue.
Her apartment number,I forgot to put on it.
When the driver saw this,he probably had a fit.
Didn't make any difference,her phone# was on it.
The people that handled it,are really unfit.
Must of been to much work,they didn't call and ask.
Instead they decided just,to ship him back.
Now my poor little guy,has been traveling for awhile.
Darn that UPS, this whole thing has been a trial.
After he gets back, here they'll ship him south again.
Poor little computer,will never be the same.
Its hard for a computer,to be bounced back and forth.
I wish I'd just kept him,with me in the North.